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Losing to Win
Mar 3, 2011
Thursday Review: Good Earth Sweet & Spicy Herbal Tea
Years ago, my pilates instructor recommended this tea to me and I fell in love with it instantly. I recently rediscovered it and have been craving it daily. I tend to stay away from caffeine after lunch during the week so I love that they also offer a caffeine free herbal blend.
Ingredients: Red Rooibos, Chicory Root, Natural Flavors, Rosehips, Cinnamon, Lemongrass, Peppermint, Papaya, Chamomile, Panax Ginseng, Anise Seed, Dandelion Root, Ginger Root, Orange Oil, Orange Peel.
With quite a varied and interesting list of ingredients, this tea could certainly go either way. Either blend spectacularly or taste like the equivalent of a train wreck in a mug. Luckily for you and me, it works deliciously!
Aroma: The tea steeps quickly and even though they advise 3-4 minutes, within a minute you can really smell the tea. I usually brew it for 2-3 minutes and the flavors are all really present. The longer you steep, the spicier and sweeter the tea becomes.
Before you even take a sip, the aromas draw you in. Intensely cinnamon with a hint of mint underneath, I anticipate my first sip every time I brew this!
Taste: As promised at first sniff, the scent of the cinnamon represents a huge flavor boost to the tea. The spiciness of the cinnamon blends with a subtle peppermint and anise flavor, with the ginger and papaya peeking through. The tea is fairly sweet, as the name implies. You may wonder if there has been a sweetener added, but the tea is as is. Delicious, sweet and spicy.
Recommendation: Perfect for cinnamon lovers! Give it a try, you won't be disappointed.
Sicky sick
After battling a cold for the last week, I'm finally feeling better and actually faced the treadmill for a run today. I was feeling anxious as the last time I tried to run, my legs felt like tree trunks and I could barely run for a minute.
But I had a FANTASTIC workout today. I felt good, I felt strong, my breathing was even and my body felt happy to be working hard. Just what I had hoped for!
At the time of that less-than-stellar workout last week, I didn't realize what was going on. But the heavy legs and the desire to slow down made me feel insecure. I felt "fat" and I felt "lazy". Of course as I looked deeper and tried to see the positives, it was just that my body was fighting something off and I was getting sick. But I struggled to stay positive and keep telling myself that the tired heaviness was not about my fitness level or my weight loss success, but it was solely my body telling me to slow down and get some rest.
So often in the past I've heard the saying that your body is a machine. Give it the chance to work for you and it won't let you down. More than ever I believe this and live this now. It's amazing the things I can accomplish when I simply ask my body to do something and believe that it can. Sure, sometimes I have to work up to a certain thing. But it's there to work hard and to feel good. And I'm grateful for that.
But I had a FANTASTIC workout today. I felt good, I felt strong, my breathing was even and my body felt happy to be working hard. Just what I had hoped for!
At the time of that less-than-stellar workout last week, I didn't realize what was going on. But the heavy legs and the desire to slow down made me feel insecure. I felt "fat" and I felt "lazy". Of course as I looked deeper and tried to see the positives, it was just that my body was fighting something off and I was getting sick. But I struggled to stay positive and keep telling myself that the tired heaviness was not about my fitness level or my weight loss success, but it was solely my body telling me to slow down and get some rest.
So often in the past I've heard the saying that your body is a machine. Give it the chance to work for you and it won't let you down. More than ever I believe this and live this now. It's amazing the things I can accomplish when I simply ask my body to do something and believe that it can. Sure, sometimes I have to work up to a certain thing. But it's there to work hard and to feel good. And I'm grateful for that.
Feb 9, 2011
Big day
Today I:
- Made it to the orange level on Nike+
- Hit my 10% weight loss (from my original and highest weight ever)
- Realized it's been almost 6 weeks since I've binged
- Wore a size 12 pair of pants
Not bad for a cold day in February!
- Made it to the orange level on Nike+
- Hit my 10% weight loss (from my original and highest weight ever)
- Realized it's been almost 6 weeks since I've binged
- Wore a size 12 pair of pants
Not bad for a cold day in February!
Jan 24, 2011
Day Zero List - 1001 things to do in 101 days
| So many of you have inspired me to do my own Day Zero list These are 101 things I'd like to try to accomplish/try/do in 1001 days. Starting Date - January 24, 2011 Day to Complete - October 21, 2013 Those in progress are in italics Those completed are in red Creativity | |
| 1 | Take a photography class |
| 2 | Learn how to play my banjo |
| 3 | Do a 365 photo project |
| 4 | Attend a knitting meet-up |
| 5 | Learn how to crochet |
| 6 | Learn how to use my sewing machine |
| 7 | Take a photo of myself every day for a month |
| 8 | Complete knitting a pair of socks |
| 9 | Hand make Christmas gifts for everyone |
| 10 | Paint something I can hang on the wall |
Self | |
| 11 | Get married (this one's easy, but SO important and exciting!) |
| 12 | Go without internet for 24 hours |
| 13 | Pay off credit cards |
| 14 | Have a conversation fully in French |
| 15 | Wear makeup every day for a week |
| 16 | Volunteer at the community garden |
| 17 | Apply to nursing school |
| 18 | Volunteer at the hospital |
| 19 | Save at least $3,000 |
| 20 | Write a personal letter or thank you card once a day for a month |
| 21 | Move to a house that has a fenced in yard |
| 22 | Blog at least once a week for a year |
| 23 | Create a vision board |
| 24 | Organize my dressing room |
| 25 | Give away all the clothes that no longer fit me. Don't hold onto them for sentimental reasons! |
| 26 | Keep the kitchen table completely cleared off for a month |
| 27 | Have people over to our house for dinner |
| 28 | Have my nieces over for a sleepover/dance party |
| 29 | Have boudoir photos taken |
| 30 | Have a dress designed and custom made just for me |
| 31 | Go without TV/Netflix/Hulu for 48 hours while at home |
| 32 | Track my weight loss by taking full-body pictures once a month |
| 33 | Track my weight loss by taking my measurements once a month |
| 34 | Take my mother on a lighthouse tour |
| 35 | Get my teeth whitened |
| 36 | Try meditation |
| 37 | Write my 2011 self a letter from my 2012 self |
| 38 | Travel to Europe |
| 39 | Take a road trip |
| 40 | Spend a night in a treehouse |
| 41 | Pay off my public library fine! |
| 42 | Write a poem a week for 3 months |
| 43 | Write my will |
| 44 | Get life insurance |
| 45 | Take a girls' trip |
| 46 | Go to the Peabody-Essex Museum |
| 47 | See a play |
| 48 | Keep my bedroom floor uncluttered for two weeks straight! |
| 49 | Sleep on a houseboat |
Health and Fitness | |
| 50 | Go to spin class every week for a month |
| 51 | Go ice skating |
| 52 | Go another month without processed foods |
| 53 | Get a physical |
| 54 | Have an eye exam (instead of waiting another 7 years!) |
| 55 | Try rollerblading |
| 56 | Try wearing contact lenses |
| 57 | Floss every day for a month |
| 58 | Complete the C25K training program |
| 59 | Wear a bikini in a public place |
| 60 | Try a BodyVive class |
| 61 | Take a beginner yoga workshop (Rasamaya Yoga workshop - February 2011) |
| 62 | Go on an overnight backpacking hike |
| 63 | Go swimming at the local lap pool |
| 64 | Hike one of the Presidential mountains in NH |
| 65 | Take another rock climbing course |
| 66 | Go to the indoor rock climbing gym |
| 67 | Run a mile |
| 68 | Run a 5K |
| 69 | Go to the gym every day for a week |
| 70 | Ride my bike to work |
| 71 | Go cross-country skiing |
Food | |
| 72 | Bake 4 different types of yeast breads |
| 73 | Make coq au vin from Julia Child's cookbook |
| 74 | Learn to make a great salad dressing from scratch |
| 75 | Try one new fruit a month for a year |
| 76 | Don’t eat out for a month |
| 77 | Have friends over for a dinner party |
| 78 | Go to a wine tasting at a local winery |
| 79 | Join a CSA |
| 80 | Go to a cheese class |
| 81 | Eat only locally grown/made food for a day |
| 82 | Make a recipe from at least every cookbook I own |
| 83 | Make and decorate gingerbread men from scratch |
| 84 | Make grilled pizza |
| 85 | Learn to make yogurt |
| 86 | Take dinner leftovers to work for lunch for a week |
| 87 | Make ice cream |
| 88 | Plant a vegetable garden on my patio |
| 89 | Eat at the dining room table every night for a week |
| 90 | Take a cooking class |
Being a Good Do-Bee | |
| 91 | Pay for the person behind me at a toll booth |
| 92 | Do "trail magic" on the Appalachian Trail |
| 93 | Spend a vacation day volunteering on a project |
| 94 | Leave a 100% tip |
| 95 | Plant a tree |
| 96 | Throw a Naked Lady party and donate all the extra clothes to a woman's shelter |
| 97 | Write a letter to the editor |
| 98 | Donate an amount of money that makes me feel uncomfortable |
| 99 | Fill someone's freezer |
| 100 | Volunteer at a soup kitchen |
| 101 | Donate money to my alma mater (completed: Jan 2011) |
Jan 12, 2011
Recipe Ready: Vegetable Barley Soup
This is a quick and easy vegetable barley soup you can make as below, or substitute veggies and grains based on what you have in your refrigerator and your pantry.
8 cups of fat-free, reduced sodium chicken broth OR vegetable broth
1 cup canned carrots (drained) OR two whole carrots (peeled and sliced)
1 cup canned or frozen peas
1 cup canned or frozen lima beans (drained)
15 oz can of diced tomatoes, including juice
1 cup canned chickpeas (drained)
1/2 cup uncooked barley
1/2 diced onion, or 2 tbsp dried minced onion
1 tsp garlic powder
3 bay leaves
2 tsp salt (add more as you cook, to taste)
1 tsp fresh ground pepper (add more as you cook, to taste)
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp sugar (reduces the acidity from the tomatoes)
1 tsp paprika
Combine all ingredients in a large soup pot and bring to a boil. Cover and reduce heat to medium. Simmer for 60-90 minutes and serve.
You can make the soup thinner by adding more broth or thicker by upping the barley to 1 cup.
(This soup makes 7 servings - 2 cups per serving. Total PointsPlus value per serving is 4.)
8 cups of fat-free, reduced sodium chicken broth OR vegetable broth
1 cup canned carrots (drained) OR two whole carrots (peeled and sliced)
1 cup canned or frozen peas
1 cup canned or frozen lima beans (drained)
15 oz can of diced tomatoes, including juice
1 cup canned chickpeas (drained)
1/2 cup uncooked barley
1/2 diced onion, or 2 tbsp dried minced onion
1 tsp garlic powder
3 bay leaves
2 tsp salt (add more as you cook, to taste)
1 tsp fresh ground pepper (add more as you cook, to taste)
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp sugar (reduces the acidity from the tomatoes)
1 tsp paprika
Combine all ingredients in a large soup pot and bring to a boil. Cover and reduce heat to medium. Simmer for 60-90 minutes and serve.
You can make the soup thinner by adding more broth or thicker by upping the barley to 1 cup.
(This soup makes 7 servings - 2 cups per serving. Total PointsPlus value per serving is 4.)
Jan 11, 2011
Couch to 5K - Week 2
T2
The fab folks over at the Couch to 5K site have even posted a handy treadmill version of the plan so you don't have to think at all - just run!
Headed off to the gym for the first of three days of this workout:
00:00-5:00: Warmup walk
5:00-6:30: Run
6:30-8:30: Walk
8:30-10:00: Run
10:00-12:00: Walk
12:00-13:30: Run
13:30-15:30: Walk
15:30-17:00: Run
17:00-19:00: Walk
19:00-20:30: Run
20:30-22:30: Walk
22:30-24:00: Run
24:00-26:00: Walk
26:00-30:00: Cooldown Walk
The fab folks over at the Couch to 5K site have even posted a handy treadmill version of the plan so you don't have to think at all - just run!
Headed off to the gym for the first of three days of this workout:
00:00-5:00: Warmup walk
5:00-6:30: Run
6:30-8:30: Walk
8:30-10:00: Run
10:00-12:00: Walk
12:00-13:30: Run
13:30-15:30: Walk
15:30-17:00: Run
17:00-19:00: Walk
19:00-20:30: Run
20:30-22:30: Walk
22:30-24:00: Run
24:00-26:00: Walk
26:00-30:00: Cooldown Walk
Slow and steady wins the race?
I've been doing a lot of thinking about how to achieve my weight loss goals lately. How to focus on the here and now and the baby steps rather than seeing this giant looming number (60 lbs!). Previously and repeatedly, I would plan for an exact date I need to reach that goal or else I should consider myself a failure. I never took into account life, schedules, cold and flu season, exam weeks, anything that could possibly hinder my perfect plan.
What that meant for me is that if I had a bad week or two, I would give up and declare myself a loser, a failure, not fit for even trying. And I did this to myself over and over and over again, never really learning that this wasn't the way to achieve anything. But I finally realize now that by focusing on the place I'm at, week by week, I'm making strides towards the bigger goal.
I started the Couch to 5K program last week and am really enjoying it. I'm actually enjoying the process of taking the time for myself to go to the gym, get on the treadmill and check out for a half hour while I accomplish a goal. A goal of FINISHING one piece at a time.
Last week I was dealing with a lot of anxiety - work, wedding planning, school, hormones. It was all a little too much for me and I was cracking a bit. But in spite of that, I still completed Week 1 of the C25K program, I still tracked every bite of food I consumed, I still lost weight. I realized that the anxiety was only going to get worse if I didn't treat myself well. So when I was feeling rotten, I'd go to the gym and bust out a few miles on the treadmill. Or I'd eat a handful of raspberries instead of a bag of chips. I gave myself the gift of health and it made me feel better!
I know that I have to just be patient with myself and give me the room and time to achieve my goals. Some weeks will be tough, but some weeks will be great. And it's taken me 32 years to get here, I can't turn it around overnight. But I'll keep trying because I deserve it!
What that meant for me is that if I had a bad week or two, I would give up and declare myself a loser, a failure, not fit for even trying. And I did this to myself over and over and over again, never really learning that this wasn't the way to achieve anything. But I finally realize now that by focusing on the place I'm at, week by week, I'm making strides towards the bigger goal.
I started the Couch to 5K program last week and am really enjoying it. I'm actually enjoying the process of taking the time for myself to go to the gym, get on the treadmill and check out for a half hour while I accomplish a goal. A goal of FINISHING one piece at a time.
Last week I was dealing with a lot of anxiety - work, wedding planning, school, hormones. It was all a little too much for me and I was cracking a bit. But in spite of that, I still completed Week 1 of the C25K program, I still tracked every bite of food I consumed, I still lost weight. I realized that the anxiety was only going to get worse if I didn't treat myself well. So when I was feeling rotten, I'd go to the gym and bust out a few miles on the treadmill. Or I'd eat a handful of raspberries instead of a bag of chips. I gave myself the gift of health and it made me feel better!
I know that I have to just be patient with myself and give me the room and time to achieve my goals. Some weeks will be tough, but some weeks will be great. And it's taken me 32 years to get here, I can't turn it around overnight. But I'll keep trying because I deserve it!
 |
| Stretching after a C25K workout on the treadmill. |
Dec 31, 2010
2011 Goals and Guidelines for Success
Since just listing a bunch of goals with no practical steps to achieve them has never served me well, I decided to really think about what I wanted from this year and how I plan to get there.
2010 brought about a lot of changes for me and was overall a positive year full of growth. I want to continue to be grateful, to continue to be happy as I've learned to do in 2010.
In 2011, I'm also getting married to the love of my life. Above all, my goal is to enjoy every moment of the process - not overwhelm myself with stress over the elopement and party. This is about us....not all the stressful details!
Here they are, my 7 goals for 2011.
Fitness/Health
Run a 5K
How will I get there?
1. Continue with C25K program (9 weeks or however long it takes me!)
2. Register for local race – looking at Great Bay Race on April 2nd
3. Complete my first 5K!
Lose 35 pounds
How will I get there?
1. Continue with WeightWatchers and monitoring how and what I eat
2. Go to a WW meeting every week
3. Gym/workout – be active at least 5 days per week, 30 min per day
Honor my body by feeding it well
How will I get there?
1. Remember that binges might happen – figure out why it’s happening, forgive myself and move on
2. Be conscious of how I eat, what I eat and how it makes me feel
3. As I lose weight, notice the positive health effects and changes I experience
4. Cook at least one vegetarian dinner per week
Education/Career
Kick Anatomy & Physiology 2’s butt and end the semester with an A!
How will I get there?
1. Set aside 8-10 hours each week for studying – create a study plan and stick to it
2. See the tutor at least 2x a month (not just before exams!)
3. Utilize open lab times
Get an A in English composition
How will I get there?
1. Set aside 8-10 hours each week for studying – create a study plan and stick to it
2. Utilize the writing center
Take the pre-entrance exam for nursing school
How will I get there?
1. Already registered for January 22nd
Apply to nursing school
How will I get there?
1. Continue to research the programs I’m interested in
2. Decide on professional references and ask them
3. Meet with reps from each school to get advice/input on application
4. Work on essay and get help/feedback on the process
5. Know that this may be just practice, and KEEP TRYING!
2010 brought about a lot of changes for me and was overall a positive year full of growth. I want to continue to be grateful, to continue to be happy as I've learned to do in 2010.
In 2011, I'm also getting married to the love of my life. Above all, my goal is to enjoy every moment of the process - not overwhelm myself with stress over the elopement and party. This is about us....not all the stressful details!
Here they are, my 7 goals for 2011.
Fitness/Health
Run a 5K
How will I get there?
1. Continue with C25K program (9 weeks or however long it takes me!)
2. Register for local race – looking at Great Bay Race on April 2nd
3. Complete my first 5K!
Lose 35 pounds
How will I get there?
1. Continue with WeightWatchers and monitoring how and what I eat
2. Go to a WW meeting every week
3. Gym/workout – be active at least 5 days per week, 30 min per day
Honor my body by feeding it well
How will I get there?
1. Remember that binges might happen – figure out why it’s happening, forgive myself and move on
2. Be conscious of how I eat, what I eat and how it makes me feel
3. As I lose weight, notice the positive health effects and changes I experience
4. Cook at least one vegetarian dinner per week
Education/Career
Kick Anatomy & Physiology 2’s butt and end the semester with an A!
How will I get there?
1. Set aside 8-10 hours each week for studying – create a study plan and stick to it
2. See the tutor at least 2x a month (not just before exams!)
3. Utilize open lab times
Get an A in English composition
How will I get there?
1. Set aside 8-10 hours each week for studying – create a study plan and stick to it
2. Utilize the writing center
Take the pre-entrance exam for nursing school
How will I get there?
1. Already registered for January 22nd
Apply to nursing school
How will I get there?
1. Continue to research the programs I’m interested in
2. Decide on professional references and ask them
3. Meet with reps from each school to get advice/input on application
4. Work on essay and get help/feedback on the process
5. Know that this may be just practice, and KEEP TRYING!
Dec 5, 2010
Joining the Pumpkin Oatmeal Craze
I'm so far behind on this whole oatmeal craze, especially the pumpkin oatmeal craze. But...I've finally joined the cool kids and made my own. And now I wonder what I was waiting for! This is a delicious, filling and nutritious way to start the day and I'm sure I'll be converting to oatmeal for breakfast for the entire winter.
Quick and Easy Pumpkin Oatmeal
1 cup milk
1 cup water
Pinch of salt
1 cup old-fashioned oats
1 tbsp raw sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 cup canned pumpkin
Bring milk, water and pinch of salt to a boil over high heat. Once boiling, add the oatmeal and sugar and bring to another boil.
Turn the heat down to medium and simmer for 2-3 minutes. Add pumpkin, cinnamon and nutmeg and cook for another 5-6 minutes.
Let stand for a few minutes to thicken. Garnish with pecans and serve.
Makes 6 servings (1/2 cup each).
Quick and Easy Pumpkin Oatmeal
1 cup milk
1 cup water
Pinch of salt
1 cup old-fashioned oats
1 tbsp raw sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 cup canned pumpkin
Bring milk, water and pinch of salt to a boil over high heat. Once boiling, add the oatmeal and sugar and bring to another boil.
Turn the heat down to medium and simmer for 2-3 minutes. Add pumpkin, cinnamon and nutmeg and cook for another 5-6 minutes.
Let stand for a few minutes to thicken. Garnish with pecans and serve.
Makes 6 servings (1/2 cup each).
Oct 31, 2010
The Big Day Diet
I'm struggling with the notion that now that I'm engaged, there's an expectation that I'm supposed to obsess about my weight, my goal weight, multiple daily workouts and a magical dress size that I'm supposed to fit into by next summer.
Sure, I want to continue to eat healthy and make good choices and continue recovering from my eating disorder and to take care of my body. That's what I want more than anything. And that's what I'm focused on - the baby steps it takes for long-term good health.
So I'm afraid this whole obsession that brides seem to get about THE perfect dress (that they see on a model that looks nothing like ME) and THE perfect weight are going to take over. It hasn't yet, but I want to make sure I continue to make the choices I'm making for the long haul....and not just because I'm getting married and I have unrealistic expectations of what my body should look look like on one particular day.
The commitment I'm making to my health right now mimics quite closely the commitment I'm making to my fiance. For the rest of my life, I promise to love my body every day, to make decisions about it's health and happiness every day. I promise to not give up in the difficult times, and not take it for granted when things seem to be sailing along smoothly.
How do you quiet "The Big Day Diet Voice"?
Sure, I want to continue to eat healthy and make good choices and continue recovering from my eating disorder and to take care of my body. That's what I want more than anything. And that's what I'm focused on - the baby steps it takes for long-term good health.
So I'm afraid this whole obsession that brides seem to get about THE perfect dress (that they see on a model that looks nothing like ME) and THE perfect weight are going to take over. It hasn't yet, but I want to make sure I continue to make the choices I'm making for the long haul....and not just because I'm getting married and I have unrealistic expectations of what my body should look look like on one particular day.
The commitment I'm making to my health right now mimics quite closely the commitment I'm making to my fiance. For the rest of my life, I promise to love my body every day, to make decisions about it's health and happiness every day. I promise to not give up in the difficult times, and not take it for granted when things seem to be sailing along smoothly.
How do you quiet "The Big Day Diet Voice"?
Sep 15, 2010
Shrinkvivor Challenge - Day 1
Kick ass. Time to start the Shrinkvivor challenge that was created by the fab team over at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. You can follow the progress of the Tribes here.
I had my first weigh-in this morning and the challenge will continue through November 3rd. That gives me 7 weigh-ins to find myself DEEP into onederland (never to look back at this weight I'm currently at!). Yee haw, here goes. I'm definitely going to hit my 10% loss milestone and hopefully even my 25 lbs milestone! If I push really hard, I might even make it halfway to goal.
I'm excited to see the fitness challenges posed to us by the Shrinkvivor peeps. I need to shake things up a bit in terms of exercise and motivation.
My plan is to keep following WeightWatchers for tracking food. I'm also going to up my exercise by and I'm contemplating signing up for a 5K on Thanksgiving. I am going to give myself a week to decide. I like having a goal around the holidays that's positive and not focused around family stress or food!
Goal One - Be the Ultimate Shrinkvivor! There's some fantastic prizes to sweeten the pot.
Goal Two - Have a blast trying.
Sep 14, 2010
Lose-a-palooza - WeightWatchers Lose for Good Campaign
Join in with WeightWatchers for their one day giving fest to encourage participation in the Lose for Good campaign.
For ever mention of Lose for Good made today, WeightWatchers will donate $1 (up to $60,000) to Share our Strength and Action Against Hunger.
To learn more, visit WeightWatchers.com/LoseForGood. or Lose-a-Palooza
For ever mention of Lose for Good made today, WeightWatchers will donate $1 (up to $60,000) to Share our Strength and Action Against Hunger.
To learn more, visit WeightWatchers.com/LoseForGood. or Lose-a-Palooza
What a lucky girl
One of the reasons I love my boyfriend so much - he always makes me laugh. Here's an exchange we had on gchat earlier today:
Me: I'm bored of all my music.
Him: you should listen to Lamb of God radio on PandoraMe: Eww, nope. I'm not that bored.
Him: But you cold bang your head for all to see
Me: I'm not good at headbanging. Or the devil horns thing
Him: don't be so hard on yourself
Me: You're always so supportive.
Apparently he can support me with my weight loss efforts, my crazy days AND my attempts to rock out to metal.
Apparently he can support me with my weight loss efforts, my crazy days AND my attempts to rock out to metal.
Oh, what a guy.
(Seventies party - March 2010. Y had lost the wig and I'd lost my sunglasses by this point!)
Sep 13, 2010
Body Image Warrior - When You Revert Back to Your Mean Self
Cakie Belle posted a fantastically thoughtful and honest letter to her size 12 body today over on her blog. It really struck me intensely as I'm having one of those days where I ate a little too much over the weekend (OK, a lot too much) and am expecting only a .2 lb loss tomorrow at weigh in. I'm feeling like my motivation and resolve is a little lessened and that I'm headed for another "failure".
I noticed this morning that my brown corduroy pants didn't fit me (there was no reason they should), how my arms are flabbier in the tricep area than they used to be, and that my stomach is a little larger than I wish it were. Just last week, actually just 2 days ago I was noticing that my stomach seemed a little flatter, that I had more energy than I've had in weeks, that I'm so proud of how well I've been doing and how good I feel.
Why does one bad day, and one slow week of weight loss, send me backwards into a forfetful haze where I revert back to beating myself up instead of dusting myself off and moving on? Why do I become mean and hateful and disparaging?
Cakie Bell has it right that instead of looking down and seeing the negative, I need to remind myself that this body I have is amazing. It's MINE and it's gotten me here, in spite of the abuse I've slung at it and the junk I've fed it for days on end at times. This is a day I should be grateful. Grateful that even though my head's not in it, my body's not going to quit me. Not today!
I noticed this morning that my brown corduroy pants didn't fit me (there was no reason they should), how my arms are flabbier in the tricep area than they used to be, and that my stomach is a little larger than I wish it were. Just last week, actually just 2 days ago I was noticing that my stomach seemed a little flatter, that I had more energy than I've had in weeks, that I'm so proud of how well I've been doing and how good I feel.
Why does one bad day, and one slow week of weight loss, send me backwards into a forfetful haze where I revert back to beating myself up instead of dusting myself off and moving on? Why do I become mean and hateful and disparaging?
Cakie Bell has it right that instead of looking down and seeing the negative, I need to remind myself that this body I have is amazing. It's MINE and it's gotten me here, in spite of the abuse I've slung at it and the junk I've fed it for days on end at times. This is a day I should be grateful. Grateful that even though my head's not in it, my body's not going to quit me. Not today!
Sep 12, 2010
Recipe Box: Kale Chips
Since we’ve been seeing kale chips in the stores and reading about them everywhere (like on Kath Eats Real Food), I decided to try this healthy snack craze for ourselves. Y is someone who would give up all food for chips if given the choice, so he was seriously craving something salty and crunchy about halfway through the 10 Day Real Food Pledge. When we saw a bunch of kale at the local farm stand, we decided it was time.
We just did a basic version with olive oil and salt, but next time I might add some variety with something like parmesan chips, tamari or crushed red pepper. Because, yes, I will DEFINITELY be making these again! They are crispy, salty and a fun snack. Of course they're not just like potato chips, but they're interesting and healthy and definitely satisfy cravings for salty and crunchy munchies.
My one complaint about these is that they did leave a strong aftertaste. Not bad, just very kale-y. You've been warned! I guess it's the trade-off for the snackfest I had.
Basic Kale Chips
1 bunch kale
2 tsp olive oil
1 tsp salt (I used sea salt)
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350˚ F
Wash the kale, remove thick stems and tear into bite sized pieces and then dry completely in a salad spinner.
Prepare a cookie sheet with parchment paper and spread the kale on paper. Sprinkle with olive oil and salt. Bake until the kale is crispy and the edges are just browned, about 10-15 minutes.
Serves 4
Points per serving: 2
Sep 10, 2010
Sober Eating
Since I've cut out refined grains and refined sugars for the last 10 days, I've been feeling pretty amazing physically. I haven't had any strong cravings, no physical urges to binge and have been getting more an more sensitive to the subtle tastes of food -sweetness of carrots has increased, the complexity of flavors seems more obvious to me. Eating this way has been a pleasure, an adventure and mostly, as cheesy as it sounds, a gift to myself and my health.
I was talking to my crazy lady about how good it feels to eat well, how easy it seems this time around. I also mentioned how I've been more moody than normal. She thought maybe this is a direct reaction to not having binges and binge trigger foods to mask some of the emotions I would normally need to feel and deal with directly. She also thought that it might seem easy because I've drawn a line in the sand with the refined foods. That for me, this might be my version of "sober eating". That I might need to continue to do this to allow my body to adjust to feeling good and using food for fuel and nourishment as opposed to using it mostly as a drug.
The concept of sober eating was new to me, but as soon as she used that term, I completely understood what she meant. It seemed such a fitting term for how I should aim to eat and what I need to do as part of my recovery from this eating disorder. I had never thought of myself as seeking out sobriety. I don't have an issue with drugs or alcohol, which I usually equate with the concept of sobriety. But I do have an addictive issue with food and bingeing, and have been using something similar to addiction counseling to deal with my food issues. So this idea of sobriety and sober eating really put a new frame of thinking for me.
And how amazing that I've been not only free from binges for two weeks now, but free from even the URGE to binge?? When I've been eating clean (i.e., "sober"), it hasn't been a struggle at all and I haven't had to make any decisions about bingeing or not...it just hasn't come up. Yes, I've been a bit moody, a bit sensitive, a bit sad. But I haven't been any of those things enough to drive me into a binge. Or to pull down my strength enough to make me consider a binge. I've just felt like I'm getting stronger, getting closer to the way I want to live my life. The way I WILL live my life. I'm doing it now. I would have never been able to do this even a year ago.... After 3 days max eating like this, I would have turned it into a control issue and binged privately and grandly.
I don't think I will continue on forever without another urge to binge. Life gets tough, I have my fallbacks and my coping mechanisms that aren't always the best. But for now, since I've found something that seems to be working, I'm going to give it a try for the long haul.
My goal is to do an 85-15 eating plan. What I mean by this is that 85% of the food I eat will be sober foods - no refined grains, no refined sweeteners, as few unprocessed foods as possible. Just real food. There's no reason I can't do this when I'm shopping and cooking for myself. The 15% comes in when visiting friends and family, out to dinner, away from home.
I'm going to think more about this idea of sober eating and clean living as it relates to the bingeing and the way my body feels. So far, I think I might be onto something.
I was talking to my crazy lady about how good it feels to eat well, how easy it seems this time around. I also mentioned how I've been more moody than normal. She thought maybe this is a direct reaction to not having binges and binge trigger foods to mask some of the emotions I would normally need to feel and deal with directly. She also thought that it might seem easy because I've drawn a line in the sand with the refined foods. That for me, this might be my version of "sober eating". That I might need to continue to do this to allow my body to adjust to feeling good and using food for fuel and nourishment as opposed to using it mostly as a drug.
The concept of sober eating was new to me, but as soon as she used that term, I completely understood what she meant. It seemed such a fitting term for how I should aim to eat and what I need to do as part of my recovery from this eating disorder. I had never thought of myself as seeking out sobriety. I don't have an issue with drugs or alcohol, which I usually equate with the concept of sobriety. But I do have an addictive issue with food and bingeing, and have been using something similar to addiction counseling to deal with my food issues. So this idea of sobriety and sober eating really put a new frame of thinking for me.
And how amazing that I've been not only free from binges for two weeks now, but free from even the URGE to binge?? When I've been eating clean (i.e., "sober"), it hasn't been a struggle at all and I haven't had to make any decisions about bingeing or not...it just hasn't come up. Yes, I've been a bit moody, a bit sensitive, a bit sad. But I haven't been any of those things enough to drive me into a binge. Or to pull down my strength enough to make me consider a binge. I've just felt like I'm getting stronger, getting closer to the way I want to live my life. The way I WILL live my life. I'm doing it now. I would have never been able to do this even a year ago.... After 3 days max eating like this, I would have turned it into a control issue and binged privately and grandly.
I don't think I will continue on forever without another urge to binge. Life gets tough, I have my fallbacks and my coping mechanisms that aren't always the best. But for now, since I've found something that seems to be working, I'm going to give it a try for the long haul.
My goal is to do an 85-15 eating plan. What I mean by this is that 85% of the food I eat will be sober foods - no refined grains, no refined sweeteners, as few unprocessed foods as possible. Just real food. There's no reason I can't do this when I'm shopping and cooking for myself. The 15% comes in when visiting friends and family, out to dinner, away from home.
I'm going to think more about this idea of sober eating and clean living as it relates to the bingeing and the way my body feels. So far, I think I might be onto something.
Sep 7, 2010
Shake it off
I'm not really sure what's going on with me this past week but I'm moody and a little down. Everything's fine - I'm losing weight, eating healthy, being active, enjoying my class, feeling productive on the Board, excited for some upcoming plans....everything's really fine. So why am I feeling kind of sad and slow?
I need to shake this off or figure it out before I derail myself and get off track. I'm trying to feel good about the fact that I'm aware of it and trying to change it...but the hint of instability is starting to concern me.
Maybe I'm just feeling overwhelmed by everything I have going on? Good stress is stress too and I've never been good at being able to distinguish the two types.
Maybe I'm just nervous about everything going well and I'm looking for ways to doubt my successes or to self-sabotage?
I have to remind myself that this state of success is OK. It's natural and I deserve it. I deserve to be successful.
I deserve it. I'm working hard for it. And it's all mine. No one can take it away from me.
Looks like I've just tapped into the root of it. I'm scared. Scared of feeling good and having things go well. Scared of believing that I'm worth it. That I'm good enough. That I'm more than just OK.
This week I'll keep reminding myself that the only person that can ruin this is me. My doubt and my fears can either motivate me to work harder, or they can derail me completely.
I think I'll choose the former.
I CAN DO THIS!
I need to shake this off or figure it out before I derail myself and get off track. I'm trying to feel good about the fact that I'm aware of it and trying to change it...but the hint of instability is starting to concern me.
Maybe I'm just feeling overwhelmed by everything I have going on? Good stress is stress too and I've never been good at being able to distinguish the two types.
Maybe I'm just nervous about everything going well and I'm looking for ways to doubt my successes or to self-sabotage?
I have to remind myself that this state of success is OK. It's natural and I deserve it. I deserve to be successful.
I deserve it. I'm working hard for it. And it's all mine. No one can take it away from me.
Looks like I've just tapped into the root of it. I'm scared. Scared of feeling good and having things go well. Scared of believing that I'm worth it. That I'm good enough. That I'm more than just OK.
This week I'll keep reminding myself that the only person that can ruin this is me. My doubt and my fears can either motivate me to work harder, or they can derail me completely.
I think I'll choose the former.
I CAN DO THIS!
Sep 6, 2010
Motivate Monday
Happy labor day. Love having the day off, sleeping in and getting caught up on everything.
I sneaked a peak at the scale this morning, even though my official weigh-in day is on Tuesday. I'm down 3.4 pounds from last week! It could be that I'm a little dehydrated, but mostly it's that I've been really focused and working my b-u-t-t- off this week! Thanks in no small part either to the 10 Days of Real Food Pledge that Y and I have been doing since September 1st. Our bodies are liking it...very, very much!
Quick Real Foods Pledge Update:
I have been really committed to this and haven't "cheated" once - no refined grains, no refined sweeteners, nothing processed, nothing fake. I don't feel like we're eating hugely differently than how we did before...it's been much easier than it might be for some. But I do realize how much we're both very aware of what we're reaching for. As someone who's struggled with binge eating disorder for years, I'm actually happy to be rid of the binge foods entirely. My binge foods (and I'm guessing most other bingers agree) are all the refined grains and sweeteners - the ones that spike your blood sugar quickly, leaving you numb and floaty and "high" until later when you crash and just feel worse.
Y doesn't struggle with weight issues or food issues and it can be refreshing to live with someone who's got such a neutral normal take on food. But, he has been appreciating the real foods we've been eating. He's actually been loving this and talking about committing to it for good. I'm thinking we'll be able to do a 90% goal - accounting for when we're visiting friends or family, when there are no other options, etc. But for what we buy and what we make at home, there's no reason to be bringing in processed foods. He likes knowing that he's doing something really good for his health and for his heart.
New week, new goals:
I sneaked a peak at the scale this morning, even though my official weigh-in day is on Tuesday. I'm down 3.4 pounds from last week! It could be that I'm a little dehydrated, but mostly it's that I've been really focused and working my b-u-t-t- off this week! Thanks in no small part either to the 10 Days of Real Food Pledge that Y and I have been doing since September 1st. Our bodies are liking it...very, very much!
Quick Real Foods Pledge Update:
I have been really committed to this and haven't "cheated" once - no refined grains, no refined sweeteners, nothing processed, nothing fake. I don't feel like we're eating hugely differently than how we did before...it's been much easier than it might be for some. But I do realize how much we're both very aware of what we're reaching for. As someone who's struggled with binge eating disorder for years, I'm actually happy to be rid of the binge foods entirely. My binge foods (and I'm guessing most other bingers agree) are all the refined grains and sweeteners - the ones that spike your blood sugar quickly, leaving you numb and floaty and "high" until later when you crash and just feel worse.
Y doesn't struggle with weight issues or food issues and it can be refreshing to live with someone who's got such a neutral normal take on food. But, he has been appreciating the real foods we've been eating. He's actually been loving this and talking about committing to it for good. I'm thinking we'll be able to do a 90% goal - accounting for when we're visiting friends or family, when there are no other options, etc. But for what we buy and what we make at home, there's no reason to be bringing in processed foods. He likes knowing that he's doing something really good for his health and for his heart.
New week, new goals:
Exercise:
Monday – bike ride
Wednesday - ballet class
Saturday - bike ride or walk
Eating:
Track everything I eat this week – even on the weekend
Think about what I’m eating, whether I’m hungry, what will fuel me
Continue doing the 10-Day Real Food Pledge!
Weekend (friends coming to stay):
Don’t use the weekend away as an excuse to eat and drink anything and everything thinking I can make up for it next week!
Thoughts on last week:
Was moody and argumentative with Y which is very unlike our normal state together. Felt like a jerk because I was taking things out on him. Great news is that I haven't binged in weeks. Bad news is I still have to get through my emotions in a positive way, not by taking it out on him.
Looking forward to another great loss this week.
So excited to start up ballet again - I haven't been in 8 years!
Question:
What are your favorite things about the upcoming season?
Aug 31, 2010
10-Day Real Food Challenge: Planning and Shopping
Since we chose September 1st as a start date for the 10-Day Real Food Pledge, we had to so some planning and shopping to prepare ourselves.
Surprisingly, Y (the boyfriend) was totally on board with this. As he pointed out, many times, this is pretty close to how we eat currently. Our meals are based around fresh meats and veggies. It just would get us to think a lot harder about the choices we make for late night snacks, convenience foods and sweeteners. Had I asked Y to do this before he moved in with me, I'm sure it would have been a much bigger struggle as he subsisted on his so-called "bachelor's diet" of subs, frozen pasta meals and potato chips.
As we sat down to make a plan for the next 10 days, we looked through our pantry and freezer to see what we could use and what we had to buy. I have class a few nights this week so those nights won't involve such big meals, but we wanted to make sure we both had food to eat without relying on take-out or any other quick fix.
We settled on a meal plan for dinners that looks something like this:
Wednesday - fresh whole wheat pasta with ground turkey, marinara sauce and spinach
Thursday - (class night) hummus and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread with baby carrots and celery sticks
Friday - grilled chicken thighs with local corn on the cob, green beans and salad
Saturday - grilled swordfish with sauteed spinach and local corn on the cob
Our shopping list
Breakfast:
Agave nectar (to replace Y's sugar in his coffee)
Honey (mmm, on toast, in tea, in yogurt - Honey is LOVE!)
Almond butter
Whole wheat bread (made with honey, not sugar or corn syrup)
Pluots
Apples
Melon
Berries
Brown Cow Plain Greek Yogurt (see here for a taste test of Greek yogurts)
Lunches:
Salad greens
Slaw mix (for salad topping)
Cherry tomatoes
Alfalfa sprouts
Organic kidney beans (I love kidney beans on salad. And you should too: B-complex, niacin, folate, magnesium, omega-3, calcium, fiber. http://tinyurl.com/3sqdhd )
Cheese
Balsamic vinegar and olive oil (for dressing)
Dinners:
fresh whole wheat pasta
green beans
spinach
corn
jarred tomato sauce (normally I make my own but I didn't have time this week, it was our one "cheat"and it's was a compromise we made together. We carefully read each label and chose something with the least ingredients, no sugar and no preservatives. I'm feeling a little guilty though since it's jarred and pre-packaged so I think I'll try to find the time to make the sauce - even a quick sauce with crushed tomatoes and spices would work fine)
Snacks:
Dried figs
Raw pumpkin seeds (pepitas)
Raw almonds
Raw brazil nuts
Dates
Apples
Oranges
Everything else we already had in the pantry or freezer.
Here we go!
Surprisingly, Y (the boyfriend) was totally on board with this. As he pointed out, many times, this is pretty close to how we eat currently. Our meals are based around fresh meats and veggies. It just would get us to think a lot harder about the choices we make for late night snacks, convenience foods and sweeteners. Had I asked Y to do this before he moved in with me, I'm sure it would have been a much bigger struggle as he subsisted on his so-called "bachelor's diet" of subs, frozen pasta meals and potato chips.
As we sat down to make a plan for the next 10 days, we looked through our pantry and freezer to see what we could use and what we had to buy. I have class a few nights this week so those nights won't involve such big meals, but we wanted to make sure we both had food to eat without relying on take-out or any other quick fix.
We settled on a meal plan for dinners that looks something like this:
Wednesday - fresh whole wheat pasta with ground turkey, marinara sauce and spinach
Thursday - (class night) hummus and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread with baby carrots and celery sticks
Friday - grilled chicken thighs with local corn on the cob, green beans and salad
Saturday - grilled swordfish with sauteed spinach and local corn on the cob
Our shopping list
Breakfast:
Agave nectar (to replace Y's sugar in his coffee)
Honey (mmm, on toast, in tea, in yogurt - Honey is LOVE!)
Almond butter
Whole wheat bread (made with honey, not sugar or corn syrup)
Pluots
Apples
Melon
Berries
Brown Cow Plain Greek Yogurt (see here for a taste test of Greek yogurts)
Lunches:
Salad greens
Slaw mix (for salad topping)
Cherry tomatoes
Alfalfa sprouts
Organic kidney beans (I love kidney beans on salad. And you should too: B-complex, niacin, folate, magnesium, omega-3, calcium, fiber. http://tinyurl.com/3sqdhd )
Cheese
Balsamic vinegar and olive oil (for dressing)
Dinners:
fresh whole wheat pasta
green beans
spinach
corn
jarred tomato sauce (normally I make my own but I didn't have time this week, it was our one "cheat"and it's was a compromise we made together. We carefully read each label and chose something with the least ingredients, no sugar and no preservatives. I'm feeling a little guilty though since it's jarred and pre-packaged so I think I'll try to find the time to make the sauce - even a quick sauce with crushed tomatoes and spices would work fine)
Snacks:
Dried figs
Raw pumpkin seeds (pepitas)
Raw almonds
Raw brazil nuts
Dates
Apples
Oranges
Everything else we already had in the pantry or freezer.
Here we go!
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