Motivate Monday

Happy labor day. Love having the day off, sleeping in and getting caught up on everything.

I sneaked a peak at the scale this morning, even though my official weigh-in day is on Tuesday. I'm down 3.4 pounds from last week! It could be that I'm a little dehydrated, but mostly it's that I've been really focused and working my b-u-t-t- off this week! Thanks in no small part either to the 10 Days of Real Food Pledge that Y and I have been doing since September 1st. Our bodies are liking it...very, very much!

Quick Real Foods Pledge Update:

I have been really committed to this and haven't "cheated" once - no refined grains, no refined sweeteners, nothing processed, nothing fake. I don't feel like we're eating hugely differently than how we did before...it's been much easier than it might be for some. But I do realize how much we're both very aware of what we're reaching for. As someone who's struggled with binge eating disorder for years, I'm actually happy to be rid of the binge foods entirely. My binge foods (and I'm guessing most other bingers agree) are all the refined grains and sweeteners - the ones that spike your blood sugar quickly, leaving you numb and floaty and "high" until later when you crash and just feel worse.

Y doesn't struggle with weight issues or food issues and it can be refreshing to live with someone who's got such a neutral normal take on food. But, he has been appreciating the real foods we've been eating. He's actually been loving this and talking about committing to it for good. I'm thinking we'll be able to do a 90% goal - accounting for when we're visiting friends or family, when there are no other options, etc. But for what we buy and what we make at home, there's no reason to be bringing in processed foods. He likes knowing that he's doing something really good for his health and for his heart.

New week, new goals:

Exercise:
Monday – bike ride
Wednesday - ballet class
Saturday - bike ride or walk

Eating:
Track everything I eat this week – even on the weekend
Think about what I’m eating, whether I’m hungry, what will fuel me
Continue doing the 10-Day Real Food Pledge!

Weekend (friends coming to stay):
Don’t use the weekend away as an excuse to eat and drink anything and everything thinking I can make up for it next week!

Thoughts on last week:
Was moody and argumentative with Y which is very unlike our normal state together. Felt like a jerk because I was taking things out on him. Great news is that I haven't binged in weeks. Bad news is I still have to get through my emotions in a positive way, not by taking it out on him.
Looking forward to another great loss this week.
So excited to start up ballet again - I haven't been in 8 years!

Question:
What are your favorite things about the upcoming season?

Motivate Monday

Sundays are usually my day to relax, be lazy, spend way too much time on the couch, have an extra cookie. And the result of this is that I’m even more tired and lazy on Mondays. Hmm, not working. Though, I must admit, it seems like a good idea every single time Sunday rolls around again.

Dreaded Monday – back to work, responsibilities and schedules. Screw that old routine. I’m taking Monday back and making it mine. I’m motivating. I’m setting out my goals and I’m going for a mandatory Monday workout. (Mandatory in that I must check in here and report it….every single week. Otherwise, the internet police might get me. See how that works?)

My goals for this week:

Exercise:
Monday – gym
Wednesday - yoga DVD at home
Saturday - bike ride and swimming

Eating:
Track everything I eat this week – even on the weekend
Think about what I’m eating, whether I’m hungry, what will fuel me
Start the 10-Day Real Food Pledge!

Weekend (long holiday weekend):
Don’t use the weekend away as an excuse to eat and drink anything and everything thinking I can make up for it next week!

Thoughts on last week:
Talked myself out of going to the gym at least twice. What’s the point of that? Why try to punish myself? I felt GREAT after that Monday workout.
Lost over a pound in spite of a trip to Florida and a camping trip. Woo hoo!
I did choose great snacks most days (fruits and veggies) and tracked everything every day. Keep it up.

HYC Challenge Check-In

Joy of joys, I'm back on track. Sure, there have been some mess-ups and some slips. But isn't that part of being on plan? Isn't that just a normal part of living? You make mistakes, you have a bad day, you live with it and you move on.

One of the things that always surprises me when I come back to focus after flailing for a while is that it's SO much easier to be on plan than off it. Without staying on plan, I'm worried that I ate too much so in turn I eat more to deal with the stress. I feel guilty about my indulgences and so avoid the scale. I "feel fat" and skip the gym and the weight creeps up and up and up. And my overall mood creeps downward steadily. I let myself be disempowered. (Spell check wants me to change that to disemboweled!! Errr, not quite what I was going for.)

The mental energy it takes me to feel badly and beat myself up for days/weeks/months about what I'm doing "wrong" is hard to get out from under. It seems to spiral, to linger, to weigh heavily..... And then things shift, something snaps, motivation returns (or even just a glint of motivation!) and it's time again to TRY.

Trying is the best we can do. And trying includes the good and the bad. But giving myself a chance to try is the most I can ask for.

And the more days that go by with me trying, the better I feel. And the more I try, the EASIER it is. What keeps many of us from trying is that we assume that it will be SO hard. That we'll have to make so many sacrifices and so many changes. What's tough is beating myself up every day. What's not is believing in what I'm doing, believing in myself, and nourishing my body. Giving myself a chance to be healthy? I have to admit, it feels pretty amazing!

The little self-destructive devil on my shoulder

Yesterday was totally up and down. Started the day motivated and on track. But I had this nagging little voice (PMS!) telling me how hungry, how stressed, how restless I was all day. Every time I tried to ignore it, it came back twice as strong. I forgot my sneakers for the gym so had to change my workout plans. Disappointment! So...I eventually gave in and had too many snacks in the afternoon. I chose mostly healthy options (yogurt, granola bar) but I ate my points I had allotted for dinner. I changed things up and planned on a salad for dinner to make up for the extra points.

The idea of not just letting the whole day go to pot and eating everything in the cupboard wasn't a temptation at that point yet. I knew I could handle it....I just had to stay focused and eat my salad for dinner. The day was not lost. When I got home from work, I asked the boyfriend to go for a walk with me. We just took a short 1.6 mile walk around the neighborhood, but I did feel better. At least I could undo a TINY bit of damage and then enjoy my salad for dinner.

But then around 8:30 or 9...I let that little voice win again. While I was prepping the crock pot for tonight's dinner, I reached into the cupboard for a handful of M&Ms, then another, then another. Then I managed to make a large bowl of popcorn to share with the bf. By that point, I was so stuffed and disappointed, I just went to bed.

Ugh! I ate all my daily points, the rest of my weekly points and all my activity points for the week! Plus two more!! I did track it all, which I feel is an accomplishment...but I shouldn't have let myself get so out of control.

Today I'm dusting myself off and moving on. I have a really busy day, and then two meetings after work. I'll make sure to have a snack around 5 since I'll be eating a late dinner.

Maybe I can even squeeze in 20 minutes of yoga or so before bed? We'll see. Today's a new day.

Monday morning: I peeked

This morning I hopped on the scale to take a peek at my weight. For me, it's generally not a good idea to check mid-week (my weigh-in day is Friday) as I know how much your weight can fluctuate daily. But I still wanted to make sure I was on track. I made a few poor decisions this weekend (like when I dove head first into a bottle of wine and had pretzels for lunch the next day), but overall I recovered by eating well and doing some exercise.

Looking back, starting my Monday morning looking for affirmation from the scale could have been a bad set-up for a rough week, so I'm happy my efforts showed on the scale. But this was a good reminder that as much I think the scale doesn't affect how I feel about myself, it totally does.

I'm going to keep this as a positive though and count it as a GREAT boost of motivation for the week. Hope you all have a great week too!

So here are my weekly goals:

1. Start the C25K (pending how my hips fare with the program!)

2. Continue doing my XBox Fitness Yourself workouts (5 days)

3. Track every meal and snack

My Recipe Box: Chicken Parmesan

My boyfriend loves chicken parm and when we first started dating, I cooked it for him. Lucky for me, he was hooked (both on the chicken and on me!). After that, I knew I had to come up with a way to lighten up the meal so I could make it occasionally for us. Just a few easy changes and I've worked out a great, quick way to put together chicken parmesan. Enjoy!

WW Friendly Chicken Parmesan

Ingredients:
29 oz canned diced tomatoes, with Italian herbs (i large can, or 2 smaller cans)
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried oregano
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 Tbsp sugar
1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 pound uncooked boneless, skinless chicken breast, four 4-oz pieces
4 tsp olive oil, divided
1 spray cooking spray
1/2 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese, fresh
1/3 cups Italian seasoned bread crumbs

Cooking Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350°.

To make the sauce, combine first 5 ingredients in a large saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, 35 minutes. Stir in sugar and vinegar; simmer 5 minutes.

While the sauce is cooking, place each chicken breast half between 2 sheets of heavy-duty plastic wrap and pound to 1⁄2-inch thickness, using a meat mallet or rolling pin. Dredge chicken in breadcrumbs.

Heat 2 teaspoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add 2 chicken breast halves to pan and cook 3 to 4 minutes on each side or until browned. Repeat procedure with remaining oil and chicken breast halves.

Arrange chicken in an 11 x 7-inch baking dish coated with cooking spray. Pour tomato sauce evenly over chicken, and sprinkle with cheeses.

Cover and bake at 350° for 35 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes.

Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 1 chicken breast half with sauce and cheese).

Points: 7 pts per serving.

Serving suggestion: If you don't have time to make your own sauce, a jar of good store-bought sauce would work (Remember this may change the points per serving). Serve over whole wheat pasta or spaghetti squash and veggies on the side.

The weight creeps back on when we're not looking.

Between months of anxiety/depression, skipping the gym for who knows how long, and starting new meds to help combat the blues (which have the lovely side effect of making me SO hungry!), I've put on some weight. I haven't regained everything, but I'm worried if I stay on this path, I will.

So to get my weight back down AND to start feeling healthy again, I'm back.

Back to making good food choices.
Back to thinking about feeling good and being healthy.
Back to exercising!

First order of business - get the Easter candy OUT of the house. And not in the "Quick, eat it all so it can be gone" way....I'm going to bring it to work and leave it in the kitchen. It's safer being shared by 30 people than being eaten solely by me!

Making choices

I can look at things two ways right now:

The good: after a few bad weeks I've maintained my weight.

The bad: after a few bad weeks and almost 4 months doing WW, I'm only down 11 pounds.

So here I stand with a choice. I can look at this either way. At the moment, I'm feeling happy that I've turned things back around, had a great week so far of tracking and exercise and have managed to stay at the same weight I was 2 weeks ago.

I've also got nagging feelings of being slightly frustrated that I'm still stuck at the 11 lb mark.

A girl can drive herself mad with such silly thoughts.

I need to frame this properly so I can continue. Of COURSE I'm stuck here, I haven't been making a solid effort over the last month. I can't expect to not make healthy choices/exercise regularly and lose. Clearly, I know that. Rationally, I know that. I've proven it to myself time and again.

I have to just remind myself that the plan DOES work. When I stick to it I feel better, lose weight and create more healthy habits for myself. When I don't, I either gain, maintain but most importantly, don't feel healthy, energetic OR strong.

Does anyone else feel when they follow whatever plan they're on, they feel more free? I totally feel like it my life is a little easier when I make the effort to stay on plan. I waste a lot less time thinking about what to eat, feeling bad about what I ate, craving something I "shouldn't" eat, and the cycle goes on and on....

So I'm making a choice to feel good about this week and my progress. I've lost 11 pounds, and I'm going to be proud of that. I've exercised and moved my body every day this week and I'm going to be proud of that.

I am making a choice to be on this journey and stick with it, good and bad.

I'm NOT going to think about the big bag of macadamia nuts I ate two weeks ago (we're talking BJs big). Or, maybe I will think about it, but only in a way to know that it was not the way to lose the weight I want to lose. Macadamia nuts won't solve my problems (if only!!). Neither will giving up on myself, deciding to feel sorry for myself and eating a bag of chips, ignoring my energy levels and skipping the gym to watch the Real Housewives (but it's just so delicious), etc.

Perfect is a myth and bad weeks/days/months will happen. Here's to accepting that and moving on!

Just like riding a bike

When you fall off, you just got to get back on and keep pedaling! That's how I'm looking at this weight loss/health quest....getting back on and looking forward.

Had a great day today, tracked everything, made good choices and felt good. It really is easier for me when I stay on plan...so here I am.

I've got to just keep tracking, keep posting and keep being honest!

My goals this week:

1. Track, track, track!
2. Blog
3. Exercise - walking, Zumba, weights.

So far, so good. Slipped out at work today and got in a 2 mile walk. FINALLY found my missing Nike ipod gadget too so I was able to track the workout. Here I go! 35 minutes, 2.18 miles, 342 calories burned (I think this is an overestimation, based on the gadget, not a HR monitor).

Missing in inaction

It's typically a bad sign when I disappear.

I don't blog because I need some space to figure something out, I'm disappointed in myself and don't want to share that with my blog readers or admit it to myself which has to happen when I actually type and publish.

I made it through the week I hurt my back quite well. Then I had a curveball from my parents that sent me into a bit of a tailspin, as they always seem to be able to do.

I'm going to try a Zumba class at the gym tonight. I owe it to myself to get some exercise, and more importantly, to have some fun.

I'm back. No more excuses and no more hiding. I need to post when I'm having a hard time and when I'm not. That's why I have this blog and that's just reality.

HYC Update

The last month or so I've really pulled it together and been focused on myself and my goals. I've been eating better, actually making choices instead of just mindlessly snacking, tracking more often so I understand what I'm eating and when, and really visualizing and defining what I want for myself and my health.

What I hadn't been so good at is finding energy or motivation to exercise. I think I might have been a bit hard on myself since I was in the middle of moving, packing, cleaning and running around (and the scales were still showing a loss!). So this week my motivation for exercise has increased and I'm guessing the 60 degree days this weekend certainly helped! I did a lot of walking and just generally feeling energetic and alive. Ah, but with that exercise has come a laxness with eating. Less tracking, a few too many snacks. I'm down a point this week (woo hoo!) so I'm adjusting to that as well. Wait, who am I kidding? Last week I was having a hard time eating all my points each day, so I'm really fine in that regard. Nice try for an excuse though, right?

My clothes are fitting better - this is the first week I've really noticed! My pants fit a little more loosely, I wore a skirt last week that I won't be able to wear again AND I wore a pair of jeans this weekend I haven't worn in MONTHS. I almost didn't t ry them on, but as soon as I put them on my boyfriend told me how hot they looked. That they fit and looked good to boot was proof enough that yes, my commitment and this WW stuff is really working!

Thursday - Check-in Day

Weighed in today and had another 2.6lb loss. It was actually more than I expected but I was so happy to see my focus and efforts paid off!

Time to set some more goals and update on last week's.

This week's goals:

1. Keep tracking every day and believe that if I follow the program, I will keep seeing results

2. Work out on at least 4 days, including 2 strength training workouts (This afternoon I'm going to go snowshoeing)

3. I am going to take TessaJ's advice and put a dollar in my change jar for every time I work out.

4. Start my new blog feature - Tuesday Reviews

5. Go to my first book club meetup on Tuesday. Getting out and trying new things and meeting new people has been scary for me for a while as I've settled into my own insecurities. Time to branch out! The book is Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan (which I also need to read a lot more of before Tuesday!)

(path in the forest where I plan to go snowshoeing today. I took this during my walk on a very cold and windy Wednesday.)

Last week's goals:

1. Buy (and use!) a food scale - heard great reviews about both the Oxo Good Grips and the WeightWatchers scales ACCOMPLISHED - bought a Salter scale that I plan to review soon.

2. Work out on at least 4 days (I should really pop open that 30-Day Shred with Jillian Michaels DVD I bought!). Updated: Two of these workouts should include strength training. Only worked out twice.

3. Finish unpacking all but my books (need to buy a new bookcase) Still haven't found a new bookcase. But I got lots of clothes put away.

4. Rework budget to be a bit more concrete ACCOMPLISHED - and I paid a few extra bills to get myself ahead.

Recipe - Lemon Chicken with Pasta and Green Beans

4 oz. whole wheat or blend pasta, like rotini or penne
1 ½ cups cooked green beans
10 oz. uncooked boneless, skinless chicken breast
1 tsp. black pepper
1 tbsp. olive oil
3 garlic cloves, sliced or crushed
½ tbsp. crushed red pepper
½ cup low-sodium, fat-free chicken broth
1 small lemon, juiced and zested
Salt, to taste
1 oz. parmesan, grated

Serves 4.

WW points - 5 pts per serving

Directions:

Cook the pasta in a large pot of boiling water, until al dente. Drain and set aside. (If using frozen beans, you can cook them right in the pot with the pasta.)

While the pasta is cooking, season chicken with some black pepper. Heat a large grill pan or electric grill and add chicken. Grill until golden and completely cooked. Remove to a plate and slice into 1" fingers.

Add the garlic and red pepper to a pan with 1 tbsp olive oil and sauté until fragrant. Add the cooked pasta and beans and turn heat off. Mix together with ½ cup of chicken broth or some reserved cooking liquid from the pasta.
Stir in chicken to the pasta and season with salt and pepper. Add the juice of lemon and lemon zest and sprinkle with chopped parsley.

Before serving, top with parmesan.

Thoughts:

Light and lemony, spicy and delicious. If you like it more spicy, add more crushed red pepper when serving. If you have broccoli in the house or some other vegetable to use up, feel free to make adjustments. This recipe works well with substitutions.

I totally forgot to take a picture of this when I made it last night so I apologize. I wanted to post the recipe anyway.

Lemon Chicken With Pasta

Recipe - Roasted Red Pepper Sauce (with gnocchi)

(courtesy of the Food Network)

Ingredients

• 1 (16-ounce) package refrigerated gnocchi
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 12-ounce jar roasted red peppers, drained
• Salt and freshly ground pepper
• 1/2 to 2/3 cup heavy cream, or to taste
• 1/4 cup minced fresh basil leaves, plus more leaves torn for garnish
• Fresh lemon juice, to taste - about 2 tbsp.
  
• Chunk of Parmesan for grating

Bring large pot of salted water to a boil and cook the gnocchi according to the package instructions. Drain in a colander in the sink.

In a saucepan, heat oil over medium heat until hot, add garlic and cook, stirring, until golden. Add peppers, salt and pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes. Transfer to a processor or blender and puree. Return sauce to pan, add cream and bring to a simmer, stirring. Add basil, salt, pepper and few drops lemon juice, to taste.

In a large bowl, toss the gnocchi and sauce together. Divide among bowls, strew over some torn basil leaves, and grate some Parmesan over the top. Serve immediately.

Serves 4.

Review:

I used fat-free evaporated milk to lighten up the recipe a bit. This recipe was quick, easy and delicious. A bright meal with little effort - great for a weeknight. I served it with a caesar salad and a glass of red wine.

WW points - 6 pts per serving

Today I'm grateful for: the taste of fresh basil