Carrying around the weight of past loves has started to exhaust me lately. One love in particular. Perhaps still not entirely in the past. Or at least not forgotten. Remembering him almost daily, memories of us will pop into my head while I'm driving past a pond, listening to a story about lawnmowers, shopping for cake mix. After many years together, and many more still plans for what lay ahead, he inhabited so much of my heartspace that I'm still finding rooms that have yet to be boxed up and moved to the storage at Past Relationship Depot.
I've gotten past the point of trying to rush it along by simply pretending I'm entirely over him (or more likely, over us), but I would like an idea of how long this goes on. A friend reminded me today that it's not about forgetting them though, that will never truly happen. It's more about simply moving on.
I wrote today after months of not writing a single poem and it felt amazing. I had painted earlier in the day and I think that got the creativity flowing enough to unblock the literary energy.
I found a fantastic message board for poets to share their work with one another. It seems to be a great community of writers there who offer thoughtful critiques of pieces submitted and also support and encouragement for aspiring writers and poets.
So I registered with my pen name and posted a poem today. I've shared only two poems with two people in the 10 or so years I've been writing so the anonymity of the message board was helpful. The title of the poem is the title of this post....that's about as far as I could get with sharing today's writing on this blog. Baby steps!
Today I'm grateful for: indranthrone blue paint, Jane Austen, James McAvoy (just watched Becoming Jane!)