It's one of those days where everything seems like a good replacement for sleep and a means for comfort.
I simply saw the words peanut butter and I was craving a spoonful. I saw someone drinking an iced coffee and actually felt a surge of longing for a sweet one. I'm not stranded in the desert with no food or water. Why the longing!!??? That's just too intense of a reaction!
Oh, silly hormones. You are tricky buggers. (Must remember these cravings will pass. Must remember these cravings will pass.)
I'm going to keep telling myself that these are the kinds of days that make me stronger and that will make my weight loss efforts more successful if I just stay focused. Glass half full mumbo jumbo, maybe, but it might work. But man, I want a big bowl of popcorn and a nap! I'm going to drink a seltzer instead. It will at least fill me up a bit and distract me.
Joy of joys, I'm back on track. Sure, there have been some mess-ups and some slips. But isn't that part of being on plan? Isn't that just a normal part of living? You make mistakes, you have a bad day, you live with it and you move on.
One of the things that always surprises me when I come back to focus after flailing for a while is that it's SO much easier to be on plan than off it. Without staying on plan, I'm worried that I ate too much so in turn I eat more to deal with the stress. I feel guilty about my indulgences and so avoid the scale. I "feel fat" and skip the gym and the weight creeps up and up and up. And my overall mood creeps downward steadily. I let myself be disempowered. (Spell check wants me to change that to disemboweled!! Errr, not quite what I was going for.)
The mental energy it takes me to feel badly and beat myself up for days/weeks/months about what I'm doing "wrong" is hard to get out from under. It seems to spiral, to linger, to weigh heavily..... And then things shift, something snaps, motivation returns (or even just a glint of motivation!) and it's time again to TRY.
Trying is the best we can do. And trying includes the good and the bad. But giving myself a chance to try is the most I can ask for.
And the more days that go by with me trying, the better I feel. And the more I try, the EASIER it is. What keeps many of us from trying is that we assume that it will be SO hard. That we'll have to make so many sacrifices and so many changes. What's tough is beating myself up every day. What's not is believing in what I'm doing, believing in myself, and nourishing my body. Giving myself a chance to be healthy? I have to admit, it feels pretty amazing!
Yesterday was totally up and down. Started the day motivated and on track. But I had this nagging little voice (PMS!) telling me how hungry, how stressed, how restless I was all day. Every time I tried to ignore it, it came back twice as strong. I forgot my sneakers for the gym so had to change my workout plans. Disappointment! So...I eventually gave in and had too many snacks in the afternoon. I chose mostly healthy options (yogurt, granola bar) but I ate my points I had allotted for dinner. I changed things up and planned on a salad for dinner to make up for the extra points.
The idea of not just letting the whole day go to pot and eating everything in the cupboard wasn't a temptation at that point yet. I knew I could handle it....I just had to stay focused and eat my salad for dinner. The day was not lost. When I got home from work, I asked the boyfriend to go for a walk with me. We just took a short 1.6 mile walk around the neighborhood, but I did feel better. At least I could undo a TINY bit of damage and then enjoy my salad for dinner.
But then around 8:30 or 9...I let that little voice win again. While I was prepping the crock pot for tonight's dinner, I reached into the cupboard for a handful of M&Ms, then another, then another. Then I managed to make a large bowl of popcorn to share with the bf. By that point, I was so stuffed and disappointed, I just went to bed.
Ugh! I ate all my daily points, the rest of my weekly points and all my activity points for the week! Plus two more!! I did track it all, which I feel is an accomplishment...but I shouldn't have let myself get so out of control.
Today I'm dusting myself off and moving on. I have a really busy day, and then two meetings after work. I'll make sure to have a snack around 5 since I'll be eating a late dinner.
Maybe I can even squeeze in 20 minutes of yoga or so before bed? We'll see. Today's a new day.
This morning I hopped on the scale to take a peek at my weight. For me, it's generally not a good idea to check mid-week (my weigh-in day is Friday) as I know how much your weight can fluctuate daily. But I still wanted to make sure I was on track. I made a few poor decisions this weekend (like when I dove head first into a bottle of wine and had pretzels for lunch the next day), but overall I recovered by eating well and doing some exercise.
Looking back, starting my Monday morning looking for affirmation from the scale could have been a bad set-up for a rough week, so I'm happy my efforts showed on the scale. But this was a good reminder that as much I think the scale doesn't affect how I feel about myself, it totally does.
I'm going to keep this as a positive though and count it as a GREAT boost of motivation for the week. Hope you all have a great week too!
So here are my weekly goals:
1. Start the C25K (pending how my hips fare with the program!)
2. Continue doing my XBox Fitness Yourself workouts (5 days)
My boyfriend loves chicken parm and when we first started dating, I cooked it for him. Lucky for me, he was hooked (both on the chicken and on me!). After that, I knew I had to come up with a way to lighten up the meal so I could make it occasionally for us. Just a few easy changes and I've worked out a great, quick way to put together chicken parmesan. Enjoy!
WW Friendly Chicken Parmesan
Ingredients: 29 oz canned diced tomatoes, with Italian herbs (i large can, or 2 smaller cans) 1 tsp Italian seasoning 1 tsp dried basil 1 tsp dried oregano 1/4 tsp black pepper 1 Tbsp sugar 1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar 1 pound uncooked boneless, skinless chicken breast, four 4-oz pieces 4 tsp olive oil, divided 1 spray cooking spray 1/2 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese, fresh 1/3 cups Italian seasoned bread crumbs
Cooking Instructions: Preheat oven to 350°.
To make the sauce, combine first 5 ingredients in a large saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, 35 minutes. Stir in sugar and vinegar; simmer 5 minutes.
While the sauce is cooking, place each chicken breast half between 2 sheets of heavy-duty plastic wrap and pound to 1⁄2-inch thickness, using a meat mallet or rolling pin. Dredge chicken in breadcrumbs.
Heat 2 teaspoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add 2 chicken breast halves to pan and cook 3 to 4 minutes on each side or until browned. Repeat procedure with remaining oil and chicken breast halves.
Arrange chicken in an 11 x 7-inch baking dish coated with cooking spray. Pour tomato sauce evenly over chicken, and sprinkle with cheeses.
Cover and bake at 350° for 35 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes.
Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 1 chicken breast half with sauce and cheese).
Points: 7 pts per serving.
Serving suggestion: If you don't have time to make your own sauce, a jar of good store-bought sauce would work (Remember this may change the points per serving). Serve over whole wheat pasta or spaghetti squash and veggies on the side.
Between months of anxiety/depression, skipping the gym for who knows how long, and starting new meds to help combat the blues (which have the lovely side effect of making me SO hungry!), I've put on some weight. I haven't regained everything, but I'm worried if I stay on this path, I will.
So to get my weight back down AND to start feeling healthy again, I'm back.
Back to making good food choices. Back to thinking about feeling good and being healthy. Back to exercising!
First order of business - get the Easter candy OUT of the house. And not in the "Quick, eat it all so it can be gone" way....I'm going to bring it to work and leave it in the kitchen. It's safer being shared by 30 people than being eaten solely by me!