Joy of joys, I'm back on track. Sure, there have been some mess-ups and some slips. But isn't that part of being on plan? Isn't that just a normal part of living? You make mistakes, you have a bad day, you live with it and you move on.
One of the things that always surprises me when I come back to focus after flailing for a while is that it's SO much easier to be on plan than off it. Without staying on plan, I'm worried that I ate too much so in turn I eat more to deal with the stress. I feel guilty about my indulgences and so avoid the scale. I "feel fat" and skip the gym and the weight creeps up and up and up. And my overall mood creeps downward steadily. I let myself be disempowered. (Spell check wants me to change that to disemboweled!! Errr, not quite what I was going for.)
The mental energy it takes me to feel badly and beat myself up for days/weeks/months about what I'm doing "wrong" is hard to get out from under. It seems to spiral, to linger, to weigh heavily..... And then things shift, something snaps, motivation returns (or even just a glint of motivation!) and it's time again to TRY.
Trying is the best we can do. And trying includes the good and the bad. But giving myself a chance to try is the most I can ask for.
And the more days that go by with me trying, the better I feel. And the more I try, the EASIER it is. What keeps many of us from trying is that we assume that it will be SO hard. That we'll have to make so many sacrifices and so many changes. What's tough is beating myself up every day. What's not is believing in what I'm doing, believing in myself, and nourishing my body. Giving myself a chance to be healthy? I have to admit, it feels pretty amazing!
This is exactly how I feel right now! I especially love the part where you point out that it's easier to be on plan than off plan...so true haha. I think it's about giving yourself the opportunity to succeed, and that can be scary. Good luck! Gem
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I love this statement in your post "Trying is the best we can do. And trying includes the good and the bad. But giving myself a chance to try is the most I can ask for." Very well said and Ilook forward to reading more from you.
ReplyDeleteHey, being disemboweled would likely cause some weight loss... ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way: I get off track, crawl into the beating-up-of-self hole, and when I pull myself out and start to feel better, I'm *always* amazed at how wonderful I feel (and that it's possible to forget that wonderful feeling). I guess as long as we keep trying, it all balances out in the end. :)
Gem - I think you're right. A lot of it is about being scared to succeed. So frustrating!
ReplyDeleteCarrie - thanks for stopping by! I am trying to remember that it's really not about perfect...that doesn't work. It's just about what I can do to try.
Chibi - shall I try to patent it? "Karen's Proven Disembowelment Diet". But who will want to be my test subject?